Dear Dolly III

It's Friday, which means it's time for more letters to Dear Dolly, the advice column of South Africa's Drum magazine.

These are circa 1955. I like how the most shocking questions elicit responses that lack any sort of sympathy. "Dolly," or whichever male Drum writer was filling the role of Dolly that month, sounds almost bored.

I've been madly in love with a married man for three years. But recently he found a letter from my unmarried secret lover and we quarrelled. My secret love found out about this later and left me, and now I'm left without a lover. How can I get my first man back?

"Dolly" replies: This serves you right. You had no right to fall in love with a married man and help ruin another woman's home. Don't try to get him back now. Find a single man; stick to him alone and you'll be happy.

Some time ago my wife deserted me and later I found her living with another man. I don't know whether to take her back by force and have the man arrested or sue for divorce without claiming her back. Please, Dolly, tell me what to do.

"Dolly" replies: This is a legal matter and you had better see a lawyer. But whatsoever you do, young man, don't use force.

I am doing my Form III; a day-scholar, but very worried and unlucky. I have stayed with three guardians, but in each house the husband demands all a man can be in need of. I refuse and become homeless. I am now 20 years and I like school very much. How can I complete my course?

"Dolly" replies: My dear, you must try again to find a decent family. Why not take the wife into your confidence when you arrive there this time. She will then also take great care this thing doesn't happen again.