Things Fall Apart
Our friend Nicole, who is visiting us from Brooklyn, swears she is having a good time here.
But the universe appears to be aligned against her this week. None of her plans are working out.
In chronological order, the list of inconveniences, annoyances, and debits from her karma card were:
1. At the airport, before we even picked her up, she realized she had been robbed of her malaria meds, bug repellent, sunscreen and her extra special hypo-allergenic tampons.
2. She got to our apartment and realized that her ankles had swollen so much that they had disappeared. It looked like her calves connected straight to her feet. Nicole calls this phenomenon "cankles."
3. The winery that she most wanted to visit, Buitenverwachting, was closed for New Years. Even when we went to visit on Jan. 2
4. Tickets to see Nelson Mandela's prison cell on Robben Island were sold out the day she got to the ticket booth extra early, at 7:20 am, to make sure she got a ticket that day. It was also sold out for the next day and the next day. She got tickets for tomorrow.
5. Her alternative plan to visit a mill that still grinds flour on the premises fell through when it turned out the mill was closed from Christmas until Jan. 9.
6. When trying to climb Table Mountain, the wind forced her exit route off the mountain, the cable car, to shut down. And then the people coming down the mountain warned her that it was raining and wet at the top. And there were rumors that someone had been mugged on the mountain earlier. She gave up before she got to the top.
7. A random man on the street kicked her for no reason.
8. She bought an asparagus quiche. It was moldy.
9. On Thursday, we tried to take her to a place on the Atlantic to watch the sunset. The restaurant was so full that we couldn't get a table.
10. On the way to get dinner elsewhere, we stopped off to make a dinner reservation for tomorrow. It was booked up until Tuesday.
11. When we got to the Indian takeout place where we were ordering dinner for the night, they were out of her first three food choices.
12. And finally, just now, she got the serrated knife stuck in a butternut squash.
But the universe appears to be aligned against her this week. None of her plans are working out.
In chronological order, the list of inconveniences, annoyances, and debits from her karma card were:
1. At the airport, before we even picked her up, she realized she had been robbed of her malaria meds, bug repellent, sunscreen and her extra special hypo-allergenic tampons.2. She got to our apartment and realized that her ankles had swollen so much that they had disappeared. It looked like her calves connected straight to her feet. Nicole calls this phenomenon "cankles."
3. The winery that she most wanted to visit, Buitenverwachting, was closed for New Years. Even when we went to visit on Jan. 2
4. Tickets to see Nelson Mandela's prison cell on Robben Island were sold out the day she got to the ticket booth extra early, at 7:20 am, to make sure she got a ticket that day. It was also sold out for the next day and the next day. She got tickets for tomorrow.
5. Her alternative plan to visit a mill that still grinds flour on the premises fell through when it turned out the mill was closed from Christmas until Jan. 9.
6. When trying to climb Table Mountain, the wind forced her exit route off the mountain, the cable car, to shut down. And then the people coming down the mountain warned her that it was raining and wet at the top. And there were rumors that someone had been mugged on the mountain earlier. She gave up before she got to the top.
7. A random man on the street kicked her for no reason.8. She bought an asparagus quiche. It was moldy.
9. On Thursday, we tried to take her to a place on the Atlantic to watch the sunset. The restaurant was so full that we couldn't get a table.
10. On the way to get dinner elsewhere, we stopped off to make a dinner reservation for tomorrow. It was booked up until Tuesday.
11. When we got to the Indian takeout place where we were ordering dinner for the night, they were out of her first three food choices.
12. And finally, just now, she got the serrated knife stuck in a butternut squash.
posted by Erik at 11:19 pm
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