Whiteman Takes On Blackman

The saga continues.

The story that follows ran in the Daily Voice last Thursday, but to understand it, you might need to refresh yourself on the story of the mayor's media advisor, who killed his own career in politics--and probably mortally wounded his boss' career--with an ill-informed missive about how black people are "morally superior" to coloureds.

Coloureds, as I have said in this space before, are a category of people in South Africa who are of mixed racial background, with a distinct culture and heritage. The media advisor said this heritage included a tendancy to be big drunks. For further background, see my earlier posts from the Voice here and here.

I should say that I offer this story up as a cultural artifact from a distant land, knowing that, if this story was published in the U.S., it would not go over very well at all. It might make this story easier to swallow if you remember that most of the readers of the Voice, and most of the reporters who work there, are coloured.

'Nuff said. Hang on tight:

Blackman Ngoro wants whites to say sorry for apartheid.

Crazy Blackman wants white people to go to their maids and gardeners and apologise for the years of racism.

And he even suggests all whiteys wear T-shirts that read: "Sorry for the racism."

So the Daily Voice decided to cave in to Blackman's demands.

Daily Voice subeditor Bob Jean-Jacques, who is just about white, sportingly volunteered to wear a T-shirt that read: White and sorry for apartheid.

The back of the T-shirt carried a picture of Blackman's face.

It was hard for the Daily Voice to ignore how everybody was showing the photo on Bob's back a big up yours.

And they seemed more appreciative of Bob's apology than of Blackman’s image.

The demand was made on the website of Mayor Nomandia Mfeketo's fired media adviser and toyboy lover over the weekend.

He says: "The whites can make these apologies at their workplaces, in the streets, in their homes where they exploit 'maids' and 'gardeners' and any other form they may choose.

"They can wear T-shirts with the words, 'Sorry for the racism' or any other text they approve of which may say something similar."

But he has not yet apologised to coloureds for calling them drunks.

So the Daily Voice, never to let a challenge slide, took the request to heart.

Our Bob walked down St George's Mall, approaching coloured and black Capetonians and pleading for their forgiveness.
Bob did get a couple of weird looks.

But hey, what the hell, he was only doing what Blackman told him to do.

As Bob walked out in to the cold winter sun during lunchtime yesterday, his first stop was to buy something to drink.

He had lots of apologising to do and needed a cold fruit cocktail to wet his throat.

After a few slurps Bob spotted three non-whites and moved in for the kill.

He introduced himself, went down on his knees, arms stretched wide.

Then the magic words: "I'm sorry."

The three looked at him as if he had completely lost it.

So Bob explained why he was apologising.

And predictably, they laughed out loud.

"I really don't think it is necessary," says Thobile Ndenze.

"It's actually very funny and you have to laugh about it."

Thobile's friends declined to comment and muttered something about "stupid Blackman causing more trouble".

Bob's next apology was to a bergie who had obviously suffered under apartheid (Come on, who chooses to live on the streets?).

Then came the three young ladies standing in the queue at the bank.

One of the lovelies told Bob: "I'll forgive you if you buy me a piece of chocolate cake."

But Luke Godguard was more reflective, saying that it was not up to him.

"I'm not the one who can forgive him," Godguard tells the Daily Voice.

"Only God can forgive you for the sins you committed."

Last month, Blackman was fired from his R500 000-a-month job for calling coloured people dronkies and refusing to apologise.

And one person Bob spoke with said: "Blackman should apologise to himself."