Monday, August 29, 2005

Death Bus

Some things in journalism are universal.

When a dog saves a baby from a fire, that's front page news.

When the nation goes to war, that's front page news.

When a bus driver boast to the kids he's driving around on a field trip up Table Mountain that he'll drive them back down "on two wheels," and then proceeds to make all the kids scream with his crazy driving, and then turns the bus over on a sharp turn, projects himself out the window and kills three of his young passengers... well, you can guess what the Daily Voice did on Friday.

They did what any self-respecting tabloid would do. They gave it the cover, and five pages inside. The Voice is a small newspaper, so this accounted for about 70% of the day's total news hole.

The Cape Town broadsheets gave it similar play.

I like to pick on the Voice, but everything about the coverage reminded me exactly of how any American newspaper would cover such an event. In fact, it reminded me a lot of Newsday, right down to the staff box accompanying the lead story that listed about three quarters of the reporters employed at the paper.

Newsday, even though it's usually a tabloid in name only, would do almost all of the things that the Voice did: get the parents, get the bus company, get the early suspicions of what caused the crash (was it the maniac driver, the faulty breaks, or both?). Newsday would even throw out their usual topless women on page three, if Newsday usually featured topless women on page three. They don't. Not yet.


But one thing struck me as being somewhat different. American newspapers are more conservative in their use of graphic pictures than papers elsewhere in the world, including South Africa. Photo editors think that Americans don't want to see blood and guts with their morning cereal, and they're probably right. But I've seen pictures of the aftermath of Iraqi suicide bombings in South African newspapers, for example, that every American should see at least once, so they appreciate those endless stories about 10, or 20, or 30 people dying in the latest attack where a crazed jihadist tried to drive a truck into the Green Zone.

I can't find those pictures now, or else I'd put one up here and ruin your morning cereal. But let's just say that the pictures of haunted-looking soldiers are much more effective if they aren't cropped off at the knees. That way, you can see the river of blood and brain matter they're standing in.

The pictures of the bus crash from the Voice and the other newspapers weren't especially graphic on Friday, though even the somewhat bloodless pictures of wounded kids sitting stunned against the quarterly might not have passed muster in the states. That's too bad, because they told the story incredibly well. In fact, there was one that ran all the way across the top of the Cape Times that is easily the best picture I've seen in a newspaper in years. It was one part war photograph, one part Caravaggio.

You can't get the full effect on the web, but take a look anyway. Think an American newspaper would print this? I'm not sure.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

One Big Grape

For a short time after finishing the research for this story, which ran in Newsday's travel section today, Katie and I were both off wine. The boycott didn't last long--maybe a week--but it was much needed. By the time I was done sniffing and sipping my last wine sample, I felt like that nasty girl from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory who blows up into a big purple bulb and gets rolled off to detox by the Oompa Loompas.

Ugh.

Still, until those last few sips, it was a fun story to report. The people working in the cellars of the smaller South African wineries were universally friendly. And the wine was fantastic, of course.

Most of the pictures I sent along to Newsday to accompany the story didn't make the cut, and the newspaper ended up using mostly pictures from the South African Tourist Board. I'm clearly not a photographer. Still, if you want to see the pictures I sent in to them, check out the photo set that we put up on Flickr here.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Dear Dolly VI

It's time for more from Dolly, the advice columnist for Drum magazine, but this week, I thought I'd share an excerpt about "Dolly" from a book written by one of Drum's first editors, Anthony Sampson. He published the book in 1956, after writing it on the boat he was taking back to England after leaving South Africa.

Here's what he has to say:

We started a feature called Heartbreaks, on the pattern of European magazines, and invited readers to send their problems to "Dolly Drum." Heartbreaks became one of the most popular pages in the magazine, but the problems were baffling in their confusion and silliness. Dolly, who was a worried syndicate of men, became almost as confused as her readers. We tried all kinds of people for the job: a missionary, but he was too severe; Henry [Nxumalo, aka "Mr. Drum," the magazine's most accomplished and acclaimed investigative reporter], but he was too frivolous; myself, but I was too patronizing. Being Dolly was a job that everyone tried to escape. We ended by discussing the trickier problems around the office.

"Here's someone from Orlando who wants a second wife."

"Tell him he can't love two women at once."

"Why not? I can."

Polygamy was one of Dolly's recurring problems. Under tribal custom, a man could have as many wives as he could afford: he paid
lobola, or bride-price, to each father-in-law. The systems still survives [...] but most of our readers were married by Christian rites, and their education was Christian. The conflict between the two traditions was obvious in the letters:

I am a young man in Kenya in a responsible position and earning a good salary. I am married and have two children. But my wife doesn't obey me, and I want to divorce her. Not long ago I was going to the country on business and asked her to make me some provision, but she refused. So I think I need a second wife who will live in a different bungalow but obey my instructions. How should I do it, Dolly, please?

[...]

Race was a recurring theme. Said "Helpless":

I am an African girl living in a small town in Natal. I have had a lot of African boyfriends, and I had a raw deal from all of them. Their manners are bad, and they treat me badly. They have sometimes gone out of their way to be rude to me, and think nothing of scolding me in the presence of other people. A year ago I met a coloured man. He is such a gentleman. I am completely mad about him.

Whenever I go out with him, African men make rude remarks, and this makes me feel ashamed that I am an African. They have threatened to beat me up should they see me with him again. Dolly, what can I do? I hate the men of my race, as long as I live I will never have anything to do with them. Why don't they leave me alone?

[...]

Indians, coloureds and Europeans had more money than African men, which sometimes increased, temporarily, their attraction. Asked "Bewildered" of Benoni.

I am 22 and in love with an Indian boy. He is 25 and a shopkeeper and always gives me articles from his shop free of charge, but my parents don't know about this. I have just found out that I don't love him deeply enough. Do you think if I reject him he will want his articles back?

Dolly's correspondents were all bewildered. They were uprooted from their strict tribal discipline and not yet adjusted to Western customs. The poverty of the reserves, the compound system, the instability of Africans in towns, and the wretched lack of housing had all contributed to a promiscuous, rootless existence. [...] Some teachers with their girl pupils revealed new depths of immorality, but Dolly could never be shocked.

We are two schoolgirls, aged 17 and 18 respectively. We have just discovered that we are going to be mothers, and the man responsible is a teacher at a neighbouring school. We are still scholars and do not know what to do because this man cannot marry both of us. How can we solve this?

"Please Dolly! Help Dolly My last hope, Dolly! Dolly, what can I do, where can I go?" I could almost hear these cries of bewilderment from the shanty towns of the Reef. What could Dolly do? Their lives were so unstable and disrupted that no reply from Dolly would make sense.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Your Life Reflected

If you've been reading this site for more than a week, you can guess which newspaper this article comes from.

A sangoma [a traditional healer, or a kind of witch doctor] claims she has a magic mirror that gives her clients solutions to their problems.

Abigail Giwu also uses the magic mirror to examine people's illnesses, she says.

Giwu has used the mirror for the past 25 years to help residents recover belongings and trace crime suspects.

Parliamentarians also run to her to get rid of witchcraft in their homes and workplaces, she says.

She says she can also find missing persons in her mirror.

Even the township cops have used her mirror to help solve criminal cases.

But the most popular clients these days are those who play the Lotto.

They visit her to learn what numbers will be drawn on a particular Lotto draw date.

The 66-year-old sangoma is a mother of six and is originally from the Eastern Cape.

She says she started her unique business in 1979 after she got the calling from her ancestors.

Abigail is also a registered member of the Western Cape Traditional Doctors and Herbalists Association.

And she charges R250 [about $40] for a consultation...

But Abigail says she does not help those with evil motives, like murderers.

"If a murderer comes to my home, I will get bad feelings before the peerson enters," she says.

"I will immediately instruct him or her to leave."...


As a bonus, I give you the best headline from last week. It's referring to the sprouting plants that grow near some of the settlements around Cape Town, which shield people who are robbing passersby. It is NOT a reference to the current president of the United States. Not this time, anyway.

DSC02222

Friday, August 19, 2005

Dear Dolly V

Dear Dolly, I am 26 and in love with a nurse in one of the hospitals in the Transvaal. Unfortunately, while she was away I fell in love with another girl here at home and this one is trying to trap me to the altar. But I still love the other girl and have not told her about this one, nor have I told the this one about my first girl. --[Signed,] Johnny-Boy

"Dolly" replies: My dear man, you are a muddler. You couldn't be in love with tow girls at once. Which IS the girl of your dreams? Stop fooling yourself and remember you are now in love with a girl who is nearer to you.

Dear Dolly, I am a Muganda of 19 and in love with a girl of 16. She is also a Muganda. Whenever I want her to go to bed with me she refuses and when she sees that I am angry and want to leave her she starts showering me with nice gifts and writing me romantic letters. What should I do? -[Signed,] Karg No. 2.

"Dolly" replies: If you really love this girl, my dear man, you had better marry her. You cannot expect her to have relations with you outside marriage.

Dear Dolly, Please give me the address of Dolly Rathebe and ask her for the name of those tablets which develop the hips and where they can be obtained. --[Signed,] R. D. Mbele

"Dolly"--not Dolly Rathebe, the famous singer, but Dolly, the imaginary woman who was actually a rotating cast of male writers for Drum magazine who hung out with the singer many nights at Sophiatown bars--replies: You may write to Miss Rathebe direct through my address. I am sorry I have never heard of the tablets you want. But you may ask Miss Rathebe about this in your letter to her.

...

Yes, that was more from Dear Dolly, the "Heartbreaks" columnist from Drum. Instead of re-typing those from the "Best of Dear Dolly" book where I've gotten the rest of the letters I've shared with you every Friday, I took those from the actual pages of the May 1955 issue of the magazine, which Katie printed out for me in the course of her research. That's why the letters include those amusing names at the end, when the others didn't.

The column looks like this:

DSC02218

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Big Game 'Could Roam U.S. Plains'

From the BBC: "If a group of US researchers have their way, lions, cheetahs, elephants and camels could soon roam parts of North America, Nature magazine reports."

Full story here.

My favorite quote from the article: " 'If we only have 10 minutes to present this idea, people think we're nuts' said Harry Greene, professor of ecology and evolutionary biology at Cornell University, US."

If we'll soon be able to go to North Dakota to see cheetahs and elephants in their natural environment, I guess this means we don't have to go on a safari while we're here.

Bummer. I was really looking forward to that trip.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Donkey Gone

Mayor Nomaindia Mfeketo has fired her donkey former toy boy lover Blackman Ngoro to save her own ass.

That was the lead for the Daily Voice story on Wednesday, when the Cape Town tabloid came a day late to the press party dancing on the grave of the city's media advisor. Sadly, the lead--and the graphic depicting the mayor as Shrek and the media advisor as the Eddie Murphy character from the same movie--were the only inspired parts of the day's coverage. The rest just rehashed the whole backstory.

In the paper's defense, they'd had a good run with the story. But once you deliver a Gatsby, a locally invented kind of sandwich, to the mayor's office and call it a "cultural offering," you can only go downhill from there.

If this story still makes you chuckle, click here for a close-up view of Wednesday's spread.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Now and Later

Most everyone in South Africa speaks English, so you wouldn't think Katie and I would have to overcome a language barrier. Sometimes, though, we're knocked for a little bit of a loop when it comes to trying to understand people. The English spoken here is a bit different from the Amurican we speak back home. For example, the word "now" in many cases does not actually mean "now" at all.

Most of the time, the language difficulties we encounter are easy to overcome. The first time the waiter looked askance when we asked for the check, I realized that people here say "bill." When someone stared, uncomprehending, when I requested the bathroom, I understood to ask for the "toilet" or the "loo" if the need ever arose again. When Katie got in to a long, circular argument with the woman from the phone company while trying to ascertain the method by which the telephone invoice is sent to us, and then ended up on the phone company's list of potential fraudsters, Katie stopped using the word "mail," when she was meant to say "post."

In that same vein, my interest was piqued by a question posed in the "Notes & Queries" feature in yesterday's Mail & Guardian. (And no, I don't know why a newspaper can be called the Mail, but the stuff you put a stamp on and drop in a box can't be.) The Notes & Queries column is a place where people write in with their questions, and the next week, the editor of the column prints the most insightful, or most amusing, answer sent in by a fellow reader. One of the answers this week was to this question:

Why doesn't "now" mean "now" in South Africa?"

The answer, sent in by "Jack, via e-mail" struck me as probably quite wrong. Essentially, he said, when we all lived in caves, the people who lived in colder climes had to work harder for their food and had an "inborn sense of urgency." Thus, to them, now means now. For folks in warmer climes, life wasn't so pressing.

But, as far as I can tell, it's the white folks here who use "now" in the way that's so wrong to my ears. The way they do it is to say, for example, that they'll get to something "just now." That could mean a lot of things, but it doesn't mean "right away." Depending on the context, it could mean an hour, by the end of the day, or by the end of the week.

If you're looking to speed things up a bit, you might say just now isn't fast enough. You would say that you need it "now now."

But "now now," according to a poll of five South Africans that Katie and I conducted last night over pizza and beer, doesn't mean right away, either. It means something like "soon," or "next," or "in about five minutes."

Our survey group, though, said that now--solely now, without the "just" or an added "now"--really does mean now. Not later.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Dear Dolly IV

Dear Dolly, I have been very much in love with a 19-year-old girl for four years. We have a child. I want to marry her but have discovered she is carrying on an affair with another man. Should I commit suicide or should I take my child away from her?

"Dolly" replies: In the first place you should have married the girl before you had a baby with her. But since you had the baby before marriage it was your duty to get married to her and not have wasted her time until she grew tired of waiting for you. Committing suicide will not solve your problem. It would be better to face the situation. You cannot take the child away from the girl as you are not legally married to her and she is, therefore, the legal guardian.

Dear Dolly, I am 22 and in love with a boy of 25. I have four children with him: he won't marry me and won't even support me and the children. Should I leave him?

"Dolly" replies: My dear, you have only yourself to blame for having allowed this man to have so many children with you outside marriage and without maintenance [child support]. Leaving him is not the answer to your problem. Let your parents or guardians take action against him for maintenance. Once that is done he will know where his responsibility lies.

...

It's Friday, so that must have been Dear Dolly, the advice columnist from South Africa's Drum magazine. Both of those were from the February 1956 issue. Is it wrong to laugh at these unfortunate, clueless people?

Thursday, August 11, 2005

So You're Coming to South Africa...

As summer approaches, we've got a bunch of folks lined up to visit us. For all of you who have already booked your time with us, and for any of you who think you might be stopping by, we've compiled a suggested reading and viewing list to get you ready for your trip. We've got lots of non-fiction, some novels, and lists of our favorite guidebooks, websites and movies.

I'm sure there are plenty of other books and movies out there that would give visitors an insight into the country, so if any of you have any suggestions for us, please do pass them along. But these are the best we've stumbled over so far that illustrate South Africa's history, culture and its current issues.

Non-fiction

We've got plenty more non-fiction books to suggest, if you somehow manage to exhaust these. Just e-mail us.

1. Long Walk to Freedom, by Nelson Mandela. Mandela's autobiography gives both an amazing insight into man who became the country's first democratically elected president, and a fantastic account of the long years of struggle for democracy. It gets better and better as it goes along, and, amazingly, the account of the decades he spent behind bars are perhaps the most compelling part. It is the one book any visitor to South Africa should read before they arrive... though more likely, you'll feel compelled to pick it up once you get here.

2. Country of My Skull, by Antjie Krog. The seminal book on the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, the group that investigated all the human rights violations and political killings of the apartheid era. Krog covered the hearings as a journalist, though she is actually a poet.

3. Beyond the Miracle, by Allister Sparks. Picking up where Mandela's book lets off, this is an account of the first nine years following Mandela's election in 1994. It discusses some of the amazing successes of the country and its new leaders, and talks about the divisions that still exist. I thought it would be very dry; it was anything but. I discussed one chapter of the book previously here.

4. Drum: The Making of a Magazine, by Anthony Sampson. Coincidentally, Drum magazine is the topic of Katie's research while we're down here, but this book is fantastic even for people like me, who aren't devoting a year of their life to writing a paper about it. I think it's so great partially because Sampson became editor of the magazine at such a pivitol point in both the history of South Africa and a pivitol point in the history of the magazine...and when he was only 24 years old. It was re-released last year in South Africa, though it looks like you can't get it in the U.S. yet.

5. Kaffir Boy, by Mark Mathabane. Often compared to Richard Wright's Black Boy, this is the autobiography of a man who grew up in a shantytown on the outskirts of Johannesburg, enduring rascism, of course (the Afrikaans "k-word" in the title is just as disgusting as the "n-word" in the states), and the hardships of township life, with its gangs and extreme poverty.

6. Thabo Mbeki and the Battle for the Soul of the ANC, by William Mervin Gumede. A current bestseller in South Africa, and I think it just came out in the U.S. This one is a fascinating, and at times chilling, portrait of contemporary politics in South Africa. It's both a political biography of South Africa's current president and a discussion of the future of the ruling political party.

7. My Life, Part 1, by Godfrey Moloi. A memoir from a jazz musician whose life managed to intersect with all sorts of fantastic characters. He certainly doesn't varnish the truth: he stabs a lot of men (though with the knife in his left hand, he says, so he doesn't kill them), beats up a few women and goes to jail for posession of a handgun. But he also has a fantastic voice that makes this story quite compelling.

Contemporary Fiction

Unlike the non-fiction section, we haven't read enough South African fiction to suggest more than four real keepers.

1. Disgrace, by J.M. Coetzee. This one earned the author an unprecedented second Booker Prize. In it, the life of a white professor of literature working in Cape Town falls apart entirely. First he loses his job, then moves to the country and encounters an extreme act of violence. The character is unlikeable, the plot is depressing, and the book is absolutely compelling.

2. The House Gun, by Nadine Gordimer. A fascinating book by South Africa's other internationally acclaimed contemporary author. Set in the first few years of democracy, it's a sort of detective story. Instead of a whodunit, though, it's more of a whydunit. It grapples with the persistent issue of violent crime in South Africa.

3. Whale Caller, by Zakes Mda. Set in Hermanus, which Katie and I will probably drag all our visitors to go see. The main character can comune with whales through a kelp horn, and is happy to make this the extent of his interaction with the world until the town drunk, a woman named Saluni, starts following him around.

4. The Persistence of Memory, by Tony Eprile. A novel about a man who has little going for him, excpet a near-photographic memory. He works for an Army movie crew, filming the South African government's "secret wars" in Namibia and Angola in the 1980s, and is later called to testify about the attrocities he witnessed in front of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. Less dark than it sounds.

Guidebooks

I hate to say it, but the Lonely Planet guides for both Cape Town and South Africa are pretty weak. Buy these instead.

1. Time Out Cape Town. Easily the best Cape Town guide book out there, and we've read a lot of them. We've loaned it to lifelong Capetownians, and they give it an enthusiastic thumbs up.

2. Rough Guide: South Africa, Lesotho & Swaziland. Our go-to book for the rest of the country. It also has plenty of background info on South African history and culture, including a section in the back that inspired this post. The Fourth Edition just came out.

3. John Platter South African Wine Guide. The bible for people heading to the winelands. Don't worry about finding it in the U.S., as you can get it in pretty much any bookstore or wine shop in South Africa, including at the Cape Town airport the minute you step off the plane. It reviews nearly every wine made in SA, and gives information on touring every winery. Indespensible.

4. South Africa's Top Sites: Struggle. Once we arrived, our proximity in time to the recent struggle for democracy really started to hit home. This guidebook explores the heritage of the liberation movement, and points you to the places where that fight played out.

5. Field Guide to African Wildlife. Good for safaris (we hope), and for identifying the birds in the tree right next to our deck. My aunt sent us this one. Thanks, AJ!

Movies

Some of these might not be available in the U.S. yet. We've seen more South African movies than this, but can't recommend any of the others in good conscience. Especially not the new movie on Drum or the film adaptation of Country of My Skull. But there also a few classics we still need to see.

1. Amadala! A Revolution in Four Part Harmony. A documentary about the role of music in the struggle for democracy.

2. Red Dust. Staring Hilary Swank in the role of a South African who is returning from the U.S. to serve as the lawyer for a man seeking answers from the Truth and Reconciliation Commission.

3. u-Carmen e-Khayeltisha. An adaptation of the opera Carmen, translated entirely into Xhosa (but with the original music) and set in the Cape Town township of Khayelitsha. It drags near the end, but the music and the setting are captivating.

4. The God's Must Be Crazy. Laugh if you want, but a lot of South Africans love this movie. The director and much of the cast was South African.

Websites

So you can plan your trip and come up to speed on South Africa while pretending to work.

1. Mail & Guardian Online. The website for what is probably South Africa's best newspaper.

2. AllAfrica.com. Sort of like a Google News just for Africa, it has links to all the major stories from any given day, and you can focus on regions of the continent.

3. Dining-Out.co.za. For finding all the great restaurants you'll be wanting to eat at, if the good exchange rate holds til you get here.

4. Museums Online South Africa. A portal for all of South Africa's museums.

5. Katie and Erik's Excellent Adventure. A pretty darn good blog about some Americans living in Cape Town.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Happy Women's Day, Part II

Katie and I celebrated Women's Day yesterday by going to look for whales. This is the time of year that whales who spend much of the year in the Antarctic make their way up to the waters around Cape Town. We're told, though we haven't seen it ourselves, that they come with a couple dozen yards or so of the shore, if you're at a spot where the water is deep enough for them to do that. We're also told that they stick their massive tales out of the water and frolic around quite a bit.

We wouldn't know, though. We've gone looking for whales three times so far, and failed each time. Granted, September and October are supposedly the best months for it, when you might see a group of a dozen whales just offhsore, but we thought we could at least spot one by now.

No such luck. Instead, we saw penguins.

Mind you, the penguins were amazing the first time we saw them, about a week after we came to South Africa. This was our third time, though. And what I noticed this time was, the penguins smell really bad. Somehow, amid our awe at standing on a beach about a foot away from a penguin, the smell had eluded us the other two times.

Not this time, though. Penguins smell baaaaad. Wow. And afterwards, in the car, Katie and I noticed that we smelled bad too.

I also shot a close up-of a sign that rivals the "Don't Speed in Baboon Areas" notice that graces the top of this web page.

I had shot this picture before...

DSC01300

But wanted to get this part of it in more detail...

DSC02204

A collection of our penguin pictures from our two trips to Boulders Beach is here. The third time we saw them was on Robben Island, and our pictures there didn't turn out great.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Happy Women's Day

Today is National Woman's Day in South Africa, part of this country's custom of having national days-off-work about every other week. I don't know what Women's Day is, other than a day for honoring and highlighting women's role in society, but I'm not going to be cheeky about it, like I did with Youth Day. I felt bad about that later.

Something, however, tells me there's no brutal apartheid-era murder providing some added significance to this holiday, like there was with Youth Day. That something, actually, is the Daily Voice. They had a feature in yesterday's paper, a "Sexclusive," where they replaced their regular page three with a Women's Day feature.

Holding with the best of Europe's tabloid tradition, the paper usually runs a picture of a topless woman on page three. But not yesterday. Yesterday, it was Brad Pitt's turn.

This caused quite a buzz at the corner shop where I buy my newspapers every day. Mainly, the buzzing noise was coming from the woman behind the counter, and from Katie.

I think Katie was just playing along, though. I mean, the woman behind the counter was quite enthusiastic about the rugby star who's sharing space with Brad there, and someone had to respond with something approaching a sympathetic response. It wasn't going to be me.

The Voice also had a note yesterday that the paper would not be publishing on Women's Day. "But," said a special editor's note, "your favourite paper will be back on Wednesday with the hottest sex, skinner, scandal and sport."

In other Daily Voice news, the media advisor to Cape Town's mayor, who was pilloried for days on end by the Daily Voice a few weeks ago, was fired yesterday. An article about the firing from a reputable newspaper can be found here.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Satan Lives In My Kitchen

Satan lives in this Cape Flats family's kitchen.

After living through a number of weird events, they say their only weapon against evil is "praying to God Almighty to stop Satan from hounding us."

The evil events include a drumming noise, the discovery of black worms in their beds, strong odours and the appearance of black circles around their house.

And they see witches hanging in the tree outside.

The daughter also constantly vomits and coughs up blood.

The family has tried everything to ward off the evil spirits.

In front of their house they've painted the words "God is love."

They've had hordes of people coming to pray at their home.

Every room is marked with crucifixes on the doors and biblical portraits hang on the walls.

And the desperate family has even gone to the length of sprinkling "blessed" cooking oil around the house, on the advice of priests.

The little boys contribution is a drawing of Jesus on the cross in a bid to rid their house of the ever-present evil.

And their latest measure is to sleep in the kitchen under a makeshift
hokkie to protect them from the demons.

They say their neighbours' lifestyles have sparked the demonic attack.

However, the neighbours say the family is crazy...


That's from the Daily Voice, of course. Before I go on, though, I feel I should point out the difference between Cape Town's local tabloid and the supermarket tabloids you might find near the checkout counter of your local Safeway in the U.S.: where the Weekly World News just makes stuff up out of whole cloth, the Daily Voice finds people who actually believe it. I have no doubt that the family depicted in this story is truly scared for their lives. I wish the sick daughter would go to a real doctor, and that the family would start looking around for more logical explanations for the drumming noise and odd smells that are bothering them, but I think even a silly article like this provides some insight into the thinking of a segment of the population here.

I hope that doesn't come across as too snobbish. Notice that I didn't draw any distinction between the people who buy the Daily Voice and the Weekly World News. There's plenty of credulous people in the states who would eat a story like this right up. Just like there are plenty of folks in the U.S. who call priests out to their house to cast out demons. Florida had that person recently who though they'd seen Jesus on their potato chip. Cape Town has this lady.

The only difference, as far as I can see, is that their local newspapers in the U.S., who worry about such things as "journalistic credibility," would rarely print the story straight from the family's point of view, unless it involves the appearance of Jesus. Or the Virgin Mary.

Where was I? Oh, yes:

...Abraham Davids, 74, owner of the house in Retreat, says it all started when two large black spots formed on the cement stoep in front of their house on Good Friday.

Davids believes it is the work of witches. And it prompted him to paint "God is love" on the
stoep [the Afrikaans word for stoop or porch, obviously].

The old man lives with his daughter Vanessa Williams, 33, and nine-year-old grandson Elginno in the two-bedroom house.

Every member of this very religious family is convinced their house is under the control of "devils, demons and witches."

But the neighbours say the family is crazy, especially the old man Davids.

Screaming from the stairs, the neighbour says she does not believe in God.

But the religious man and his daughter blame the neighbour's lifestyle for the demonic attack on their house.

They say they have to put up with wild drumming until late at night...

Holding a small, black Bible in his hand, the grey-haired Davids says he is an ordinary churchgoers who has a strong belief in God...

Last Wednesday priests held a special service at the demon-ridden house.

The men prayed and blessed the
spookhuis to try to cast out the evils.

But the family say [sic] their home is still being plagued by wicked spirits.

They say they have also found black caterpillars in their beds and are constantly smelling turpentine and other fumes inside the house...

"We are a very religious family and we cannot understand why we are cursed. God comes first in our lives, not the devil."

Standing with his bible and rosary in his hands, Davids sprays blessed cooking oil against the walls in kitchen to ward off the evil spirits.

He says only cooking oil and olive oil can be used to banish evil spirits.

"Two witches were hanging from the tree in the garden," he says.

"The neighbour's husband ran to the toilet vomiting when he heard this," he says.

But the neighbour, who


Yes, the story ends like that, with an unfinished sentence. Bastards. I want more from the godless neighbours! But the newspaper had to leave room for the sidebar, entitled "Exorcising the Demons," which was a how-to box on casting out evil spirits. Among the tips:

Never try to drive out any evil spirits alone. There should be at least two people doing the exorcism. If you are alone, you run the risk of being attacked by demons yourself.

When you live overseas, you learn something new every day!

Click here for a larger image of the entire spread.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Dear Dolly III

It's Friday, which means it's time for more letters to Dear Dolly, the advice column of South Africa's Drum magazine.

These are circa 1955. I like how the most shocking questions elicit responses that lack any sort of sympathy. "Dolly," or whichever male Drum writer was filling the role of Dolly that month, sounds almost bored.

I've been madly in love with a married man for three years. But recently he found a letter from my unmarried secret lover and we quarrelled. My secret love found out about this later and left me, and now I'm left without a lover. How can I get my first man back?

"Dolly" replies: This serves you right. You had no right to fall in love with a married man and help ruin another woman's home. Don't try to get him back now. Find a single man; stick to him alone and you'll be happy.

Some time ago my wife deserted me and later I found her living with another man. I don't know whether to take her back by force and have the man arrested or sue for divorce without claiming her back. Please, Dolly, tell me what to do.

"Dolly" replies: This is a legal matter and you had better see a lawyer. But whatsoever you do, young man, don't use force.

I am doing my Form III; a day-scholar, but very worried and unlucky. I have stayed with three guardians, but in each house the husband demands all a man can be in need of. I refuse and become homeless. I am now 20 years and I like school very much. How can I complete my course?

"Dolly" replies: My dear, you must try again to find a decent family. Why not take the wife into your confidence when you arrive there this time. She will then also take great care this thing doesn't happen again.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

The Saga of the Christian Science Monitor

My mom sent me an e-mail over the weekend to assure me that she had managed to secure a copy of my latest clip. She titled her email "The Saga of the Christian Science Monitor."

The Saga of the Christian Science Monitor

Once upon the time there was a devoted mommy who loved her sons and wished to emotionally support them in their dreams. Her elder adoring [biological] son (versus her younger [biological] son who worships her [that was for you, Trevvy!]) called one day from far, far away and asked if she would find that day's issue of the Christian Science Monitor, a well-respected newspaper, because, glory of glories, he had an article published in it.

First she called the local international news dealer to no avail, then the local bookstore. Undaunted, she ventured further away from home. Would the Barnes & Noble bookstore in Berkeley have it? Surely the Borders in SF. What about the international news stand in SF?

Finally she asked, "Who might carry this glorious newspaper?" And the kind clerk replied, "How about the Christian Science Reading Room". Hark!

Off she went, feeling that time was of the essence and wishing to purchase several copies to note this special day, bequeath on the lucky and wallpaper the living room for all to see. Wait, what about a billboard!

Would the Walnut Creek CSRR carry the newspaper? No, it was closed while being relocated. In despair, she opened the phone book, found a reading room located about six blocks from her humble abode. The nice lady at the reading room not only sold her three copies but when she heard that the devoted mommy wished to wallpaper her living room with the article that her SON had written, well, she contributed her personal copy to this noble enterprise.

Great article.


Thanks, mom!

Monday, August 01, 2005

Mayhem Kid Feels No Pain

DSC02180

This is the boy who cannot feel pain.

He slashes his arms with kitchen knives and has even put a 10 cm nail into his leg.

But he laughs in the face of the blood spurting out of his veins.

Hyperactive Con-Leigh Abrahams, 7, is sendinging his family and neighbours up the wall with his weird behaviour.

He kicks, screams, spits on people, assaults them, breaks windows and hurls abuse.

He can't even be trusted to sleep alone.

Instead his dad Hendrik sleeps in his son's bed to make sure he doesn't hurt himself, or someone else.

It's a constant battle to keep sharp objects out of reach of the chilling child, who tries to cut himself almost every day.

Two months ago he plunged the huge nail into his leg, but he just laughed when any other child would have cried and screamed.

A huge scar remains.

Desperate mom Julie says doctors at Tygerberg hospital have tried everything but can't get to the bottom of her son's problem.

She has taken Con-Leigh there almost every week since last September, but his violent rampages continue.

Doctors have put the kid on a high dose of Ritalin but it has not solved his problems.

The Eersterivier community now shun the family, as tales of Con-Leigh's violence spread.

Julie says: "He's gone up to people, spat on them, taken their cell phones and smashed them down.

"He kicks people, everything. People who know us are OK, but those who don't, don't appreciate what it's like.

"Con-Leigh just shows no emotion when he hurts himself

"He was a sweet little guy before September last year but not any more.

"He needs to be on 24-hour watch. I had to give up my job as a nurse to look after him."

Mom Julie, dad Hendrik, sister Aisha, 12 and brother Reagan, 5, are baffled as to the source of Con-Leigh's problem.

Con-Leigh used to love karate and rugby, and worked hard at school.

He used to love to dance to the rapper Ja Rule.

But that's all in the past. Mayhem and sharp objects are his terrible toys now.


I love that last line. "Mayhem and sharp objects are his terrible toys now." Beautiful.

That's from the Daily Voice, of course.

An update on the misguided fellow I featured in last week's Voice story: he shut down his web site and left town. If you want to read the part of his website that touched off the furor, one of the local papers reprinted the who thing here.